Harriette Cole: Seeing my friend at her new job made me feel bad

DEAR HARRIETTE I m going through a bit of a rough patch in my career I m still searching for what s next but it feels like everyone around me keeps receiving new opportunities Related Articles Harriette Cole I m embarrassed that my daughter is that kid in day care Harriette Cole My daughter hadn t brought home her boyfriend and now I know why Harriette Cole After years his dead girlfriend still hovers over our relationship Harriette Cole How can I get my roommate to turn on the air conditioning Harriette Cole It s not that I m stingy I just don t have the money to tip The other day I worked alongside one of my friends and she shared with me that she had gotten a new job with an amazing brand that we both know and love I was so happy for her We had both lost our jobs at a similar time so this is a long-awaited accomplishment While we worked together she had a client meeting and I got to see her in action It was amazing but I couldn t help feeling a bit of sadness come over me It didn t feel as intense or angry as envy but I realized that I was jealous and that had me feeling down on myself I went home feeling bad about my career and feeling guilty for being jealous of my friend I know comparison is a slippery slope so how can I avoid it Career Troubles DEAR CAREER TROUBLES It is natural for you to feel a bit deflated when you see someone excel when you are feeling vulnerable I find meditation to be helpful to reset your frame of mind Instead of allowing yourself to fall into a pity pit sit quietly and settle yourself Take three deep cleansing breaths and invite your being to be refueled with confidence and light Invite wisdom to fill you and help guide you to what s next Afterward look again for probable next efforts Let patience be your friend and do your best to extract the good from every experience including that of friends who are excelling Notice what they are doing right and do your best to emulate that DEAR HARRIETTE I made the mistake of lending a friend money This is someone I ve been close with for over years His latest business endeavor is opening a bar When we worked together in finance he had an interest in hospitality so I was happy to hear that he was definitively bringing that to life Along the way he spoke to me about a small loan of several thousand dollars While I couldn t give him all that he questioned for I trusted him enough to lend him a sparse thousand He assured me that in six months he d pay me back in full Seven months later I reached out to him asking about progress on the bar and an update on his repayment and he urged if he could pay me back over the next months I reminded him of our agreement and advised him that s an unreasonable repayment plan for a lump sum of money he got all at once Is there a way to accommodate my friend without absolutely tanking our relationship Payment Plan Related Articles Dear Abby My wife says I have no right to be mad about the trash episode Asking Eric I do not want to be involved in the girls trip How do I extricate myself Harriette Cole I m embarrassed that my daughter is that kid in day care Miss Manners They all arrived early at the restaurant and I find it suspicious Dear Abby My granddaughter kept saying I should let her talk so I stopped speaking to her DEAR PAYMENT PLAN Whether or not you put your foot down it is unlikely that your friend will come up with the money you loaned him any sooner He miscalculated how hastily he would recover the debt This is the peril that comes with lending money Your friendship doesn t have to end though you may not want to lend him money again Unless you can afford to lose it lending money to loved ones is dangerous It s better to make a gift of what you can afford thereby avoiding the danger of disappointment and financial insecurity Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO